addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
