I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
