All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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