i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
