You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
