No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
