oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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