Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
