No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
