he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
