You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
