On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
