Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
