why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
