People with herpes should wear stickers.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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