even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
