census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
