I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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