God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
