idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You're like the curious george of whores
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
