Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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