You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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