You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
