Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
