I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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