I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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