giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
