using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
