Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
