hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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