Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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