Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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