Christians are straight up FREAKS
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
