I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
