Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
