Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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