batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
