woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
