K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
