i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
