So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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