I wish I only lived at night.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
