Dual....:-)
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
