Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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