some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
