She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
