there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
