So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
