We won't sleep together?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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