JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
tonight lets celebrate not being married
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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