And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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