i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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