The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
