Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
