never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
